Art Jokes I’ve Been Working On

These jokes have been rated aRt

I knew I wanted to be an artist since I was a toddler when I called my parents “MOMA” and “Dada.”

 

What do you call a low relief sculpture of a fish? A Bass-Relief

What do you call a low relief sculpture of a sheep? A Baah-Relief

 

How you know if you’re an artist:

You know you’re an artist when your friends get their flu shots but you get vaccinated for Horizon Line Isocephally. That’s where all the heads in the painting line up on the horizon line, but it sounds like a disease so you decided to play it safe and get the shot just in case.

You know you’re an artist when your friends celebrate their birthdays at Chuck-e-Cheeses but you want to have your party at the vanishing point.

You know you’re an artist when you don’t care that Santy Claus and the Tooth Fairy aren’t real, but you are devastated to learn that the vanishing point is a made-up place and you couldn’t actually have your birthday party there.

You know you’re an artist when your favorite band is the iliotibial band. When your friends ask you what kind of music that band plays you reply “Hip Hop.”

 

Visual artists use a great deal of algebra and theatre in their studio practice. “2B or not 2B? That is the question.”

 

Picasso went through a blue painting phase following the death of his best friend Casagemas. One day Picasso looked at his palette and decided it was time for a change. He mixed some colors and applied a big dab of orange to the canvas. As soon as he pulled his brush away the painting spoke to him saying “what did you do that for? You have ruined my monochromatic harmony!” Picasso had never heard a painting speak before, and all he managed to say was “What’s the big deal? I gave you a complement!”